How To: Write an Empowered Birth Story

Your birth is a precious memory you will hold in your heart for the rest of your life. Some people find solace in writing their birth story down, or reflecting aloud with someone else who was there. This reflection can provide healing, and be used to share your story with your child later in life.

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The following questions are designed to guide the writing process, or can be used to have a conversation with a loved one. I use these questions in my postpartum visits to hear about the experiences of my clients who had hospital births and who labored through contractions.*

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1. Did you labor at home? For how long? What did your support team do to help you during early labor?

2. What happened at home before you left? Did you already have your things packed, or did you need to find a few last-minute items?

3. How long was the ride to the hospital? Did it feel shorter or longer?

4. What was your first impression when you got to the hospital?

5. What did you notice about the hospital room?

6. What did you notice about your nurse?

7. How did you get comfortable in the room?

8. When do you remember the pain becoming hard?

9. How did you cope when you first got to the hospital? What strategies did you use?

10. Do you remember laughing? If so, when?

11. What do you remember (support person) doing during that early/active phase?

12. What did you do to calm yourself down? 

13. How long do you remember being in pain?

14. Did you face any difficult decisions? Did you have to pivot your plan or mindset?

15. Do you remember eating? What did you eat? Did it taste good?

16. Was there a comfort measure that worked particularly well? 

17. What positions did you labor in?

18. Was there a turning point in your birth, where you overcame something hard?

19. Did you have a moment of realization or hope during your birth? What caused it?

20. Recount your delivery of the baby in order, as you remember it. What do you remember the people around you doing? What do you remember that you did?

21. How did you feel during the delivery (physical and mental)?

22. What did you notice about your baby when you first saw them?

23. What feelings were going through your body in those first moments as a family?

24. What was important to you in those first few moments (e.g. latching, alone time with baby, silence)?

25. What do you want others to know about your birth?

26. How will you remember yourself in your birth?

27. How will you remember your partner/ others in your birth room?

28. How were those first 24-hours?

29. What have you done in recovery that has made a positive impact on your healing?

30. What do you want your child to know about their birth story?

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*There are many ways to give birth. Some people give birth at home or in a birth center. Some people are induced and some have a scheduled cesarean. In those cases, my questions change!